The Poisoned Cows of Clown World

The UK Bovear Scandal and the politics of absurdity

Today I am going to take a completely unnecessary car journey on a 10 mile round trip quest to get some milk. From now on, I will be doing this about three times a week. I live slap bang in the middle of a town of about 100,000 people and there is a shopping center about two minutes walk from my flat. I can walk to two or three supermarkets from where I live.

Instead I will be driving out into the countryside.

Why?

Well, because the supermarkets, the Food Standards Agency, and a bunch of politicians have decided that its perfectly fine to put toxic substances in the milk that millions of people use throughout the day.

Being a crazy conspiracy theorist who didn’t take the jab, I object to people trying to poison me and my children. I’m odd like that. I have this weird old-fashioned idea that food regulators exist to prevent that kind of thing, that laws are in place that say that poisoning people is just not on, and that a sane society would not add totally unnecessary toxic substances to the food chain.

There are even some people who agree with me on this. Here is the Hope Cottage Farm Shop, doing a much better job than our supermarket chains and the Food Standards Agency:

“We just want to reassure everyone that we DO NOT nor NEVER WILL feed Bovear to our cattle. While people are saying that it is only milk that will be affected, the animals producing the milk will also enter the food chain, some quite quickly, as they come to the end of their milk producing lifetime. While this is not a worry on the better cuts, burgers, mince, and ready meals will soon contain that meat.”

Bovear is an artificial feed additive. It’s already mandatory in Denmark (for all farms with more than 50 cattle, apparently). It’s being used now throughout Europe. The biggest milk and dairy supplier in the UK, Arla, announced that it would now be putting this stuff in the milk it sells (in the cows that produce that milk, but if you think its in the cow and not the milk, I have a bridge to sell you). Several of our biggest supermarket chains proudly announced their participation in the trial run for:

Poisoning Your Cup of Tea to Save the Fucking Planet.

Many of my readers of course will know all this already. I discussed the generally insane approach of the mainstream now to our food in a previous article, but I want to talk about it here again because I think it’s important. It’s important to fully grasp how batshit crazy the whole thing is, and how batshit crazy is now the standard operating principle of our society.

Because let’s look at Bovear and how it came to be in our milk.

Bovear is a toxic substance. It has to be handled wearing PPE. It causes cancer, deformities and male fertility issues. It can shrink testicles and turn you sterile. Its most minor effects are eye and skin irritations and breathing difficulties. Here’s a description following tests elsewhere:

“Japan’s Food Safety Commission found that 3-NOP, the active ingredients in Bovear, shrinks testicles, decreases sperm count and reduces the mobility of sperm. Acute toxicity is toxicity measured over 2-4 weeks. 3-NOP also causes tumours.”

It’s non-discrimatory though. In the limited animal testing that took place before everyone said ‘sure, bung it in the food chain’ it also shrank the ovaries of cows. So it’s nice that it doesn’t discriminate by gender.

Sadly it doesn’t seem that there were any trans cows or rats available for testing. So we don’t know precisely what it does to them.

Now might we think the only people who would want to put that in our milk are, well, terrorists?

But it’s OK everyone. It’s been declared safe by our rigorous, incorruptible, sterling chaps at the FSA (and many of their European equivalents).

Not only that, but the scrupulously honest Keir Starmer seems to be certain that it’s safe. Perhaps he asked about in his private meetings with Bill Gates and BlackRock? After all, advice should probably come from those invested in alternatives to dairy and meat whose financial interests are helped by farms going bust, right?

It’s SAFE and no doubt we should also be assured that it’s EFFECTIVE too.

It’s safe and effective to put a carcinogenic testicle shrinking poison in your morning cup of tea or your child’s bowl of breakfast cereal. Sup up everyone! After all, haven’t these people established already how concerned they are with public safety? Didn’t these regulators or their close equivalents in the medical agencies do a FABULOUS job with mRNA vaccines and protecting us from those?

Why worry about your food, when it’s overseen by exactly the same types who managed to increase excess deaths by 20% after saving you from COVID?

But it’s been rigorously tested.

For 90 days, with (of course) no long term studies. With what seems like possibly just a single herd in the UK. And 2 of the cows had to be euthanized, but they don’t say why.

All this is available on the FSA website (Food You Can Trust) along with these reassuring words:

“We are determined to drive change in the food system so that it delivers better outcomes for consumers. We protect the public by ensuring that food is safe and is what it says it is, and by playing our part to make food healthier and more sustainable for everyone.”

Wow, thanks guys! Now could you stop people putting toxic substances in MILK for fuck’s sake?

The problem of course is shown in that ‘what we do’ statement. The what we do should be really, really simple. It should be ‘we make sure your food is safe’. But that’s now an afterthought. What matters to them is that “sustainable” aim-by which they mean technologically fucked around with in dangerous ways for the dubious bullshit of stopping climate change. What actually comes first in the statement the FSA gives about their work?

“We are determined to drive change….”

Ah, so radically screwing with what worked by injecting dangerous experiments into the whole thing because you are batshit crazy enough to think that cow burps and farts are going to kill us all? Stop right there, fuckwit. Not all change is good. Are you older than 5? You are? Cool. Change is a slogan, its not always good, and if something works, don’t fuck with it.

It kinda worked for me when you DIDN’T let people feed the cows toxic crap that causes cancer. How about we KEEP that standard, and not ‘drive the change’ that says ‘now we are going to put this artificial, unnecessary toxin in the food chain’.

Because safe milk is pretty simple really. Have the cows eat grass and natural feed. Don’t add pesticides. Don’t put toxic shit in their feed. The cows are healthy. The cows make milk. People can drink the milk from the cows because it is safe and healthy.

Do you see how that works? How that has worked since the domestication of wild oxen about 10 and half thousand years ago. No artificial toxic substance added to the diet. No deformities in the young the cattle give birth to. No cancer in the motherfucking food chain.

Simple.

How could you possibly fuck up what Ozi the Herdsman got right ten and a half thousand years ago while wandering around the Near East armed with a 30 word vocabulary and the certainty that rain is the Sky God having a piss?

I mean Ozi didn’t have 140 million quid to spend every year (the budget of the FSA). Ozi didn’t have an entire agency dedicated to protecting the consumer. Nobody was paying Ozi a salary of 60 or 80 or 120,000 pounds a year to sit in an office worrying about whether Ozi’s milk was safe.

But Ozi’s milk was safe.

Because Ozi may have thought the Sky God was pissing every time it rained but he wasn’t stupid and delusional enough to think that the farts and burps of his cows were going to destroy the planet.

Ozi’s explanation of rain was better than the Food Safety executives understanding of that MORE LUDICROUS fantasy, man-made climate change.

And Ozi did not pick up a toxin so dangerous that it burnt his skin, blinded his eyes and gave him a coughing fit and then feed it to his cows.

Ozi was smart enough to probably work out that if you feed this shit to your cows, they will get sick. He was probably smart enough not to think that the climate of the entire planet depends on how much his cows burp and fart. He would UNDOUBTEDLY have been smart enough to declare this stuff UNSAFE after his cows give birth to calves with two heads or after he drinks their milk and his testicles shrink.

Compared to the FSA, Ozi was a goddamn genius.

Compared to the top executives at Marks & Spencer (“UK supermarket giant Marks & Spencer is investing in a feed additive to reduce the methane production of its pool of dairy farmers”) Ozi is a goddamn genius.

Compared to the executives at Asda, Morrisons, Lidl, Aldi (all of whom are selling Arla milk with Bovear content unlabelled so that their customers can play Bovear Poison Lottery every time they buy a pint. Did I win? Are my testicles shrinking? My morning tea has never been this exciting!) Ozi is a goddamn genius.

Scrap the FSA and put a 10 and half thousand year old herdsman in charge. Because he’s less of a moron than them. Because his belief system has more common sense in it than theirs.

We Want Ozi!

“Let’s put this stuff in cow feed.”

“But, Chairman, it just burnt through the table.”

“I know, I know, but it will stop the cows burping.”

“But I tried it like you said and I’m pretty sure my testicles are smaller.”

“Do you need big testicles? Lots of chaffing. Remember, we want sustainable”.

“Hey, boss, I’ve been drinking our milk and I need some time off. I’ve got cancer. Out of nowhere.”

“You too? Goddamn it! How can you be so ungrateful! Don’t you know that unless we stop cows burping you are all going to drown in water 2 degrees hotter than you are used to!?”

I wonder sometimes how many of them actually believe it all. It would be interesting to know. How many are really dumb enough to think that cow farts and burps are a deadly threat, or oblivious enough to really think that 90 days of testing by authorities who are morons really makes a thing safe?

Behind it, of course, there is the real agenda, the profit and power agenda of controlling the food supply, forcing people either off dairy and meat and onto insect paste and artificial meat or just owning all the farms that are left…but how many really fall for it?

Either way I’ve got a few extra drives to make each week. I wonder what my carbon footprint is like?

Well, no, I don’t.

I don’t give a shit about that.

I’m just trying not to be poisoned.

Modern life. It’s fun isn’t it, in Clown World with the Poison Cows.