California Scheming

The word ‘baseless’ makes a comeback.

The LA Mayoral Race is heading for a run-off featuring a battle between an unpopular, crazed, ethnic minority female Communist and an unpopular, crazed, ethnic minority female Communist, giving a fairly accurate reflection of what ‘democratic choice’ (always only a choice of Democrats by Democrats) looks like in Blue State strongholds.

Naturally, just as people talk about tornados when huge columns of wind destroy their house, people are talking about electoral fraud again. Here’s a sample of such responses:

Naturally of course this chart which shows Bass losing, losing, losing, oh and look there, losing again is just a figment of Musk’s imagination. The point thar it would be highly unlikely for a candidate to lose in their own personal stronghold where they have the most influence, the most allies and the most experience, as well as more canvassers and activists than they have elsewhere, but win everywhere else, is just one of those strange twists of fate that only a conspiracy theorist worries about.

Other crazy types pressing baseless allegations of fraud do stupid things like pointing to Karen Bass approval ratings in polling just before the election, where 66% of LA voters disapprove of her and 41% of those strongly disapprove of her, which quite naturally translates when voting commences into her being the most popular candidate.

But still these lunatic assertions of fraud continue. People are posting silly charts like this:

As if there is something inherently suspicious in wave after wave of mail in ballots after the date of the election arriving and nearly all going to the third place candidate ensuring (as after this Candidate Ramen Noodles overtook Platt) that there would be no Republican presence in the run off and LA would definitely have an unpopular, ethnic minority female Communist in charge again.

Conspiracy theorists just don’t seem to realise that Democrats vote late. Every time. After the election day. For however long it takes. It’s perfectly natural. They were afraid to go outside because of COVID. What? Oh right. Sorry.

It’s perfectly natural. They are afraid to go outside because of Trump’s fascist America. They might be seized by ICE.

Don’t you get it, you whackjobs? It’s a perfectly natural occurance for huge numbers of votes to suddenly contradict all the voting that went before and for this to happen whenever there are mail in ballots in Democrat strongholds and always in the ludicrously extended time periods of ‘legitimate’ voting that don’t take place anywhere else in the world. This just happens. Get over it.

It’s also perfectly normal and reasonable that all Democrat California authorities strongly oppose fraud prevention methods that actually work and are standard in other countries. One generally finds, I am assured by fact checkers and mainstream media, that the people making it as easy as possible for fraud to take place are the people you can most trust to never commit fraud. That’s why they don’t think any anti fraud measures are necessary.

Democrats know how unimpeachably honest they are. Why can’t you know that too?

Fortunately search engines and AI owned by Democrat voting billionaires are quick to give completely honest responses to any crazy talk about electoral fraud. Here’s what an enquiry returns:

“Claims of fraud in the 2026 Los Angeles mayoral primary are baseless and have been debunked by the U.S. Justice Department, Los Angeles County officials, and election experts.

Key Facts:

• Debunked Conspiracy: A viral claim that Republican candidate Spencer Prattreceived zero votes in a ballot batch was proven false; it resulted from a one-minute data lag in Associated Press updates, with Pratt receiving over 21,000 votes in that period.

• Official Stance: Bill Essayli, a Trump-appointed federal prosecutor, confirmed the zero-vote claim was false but stated multiple federal election fraud investigationsare underway in California, though no specific evidence of wrongdoing in the LA race has been provided.

• Race Outcome: Late-counted mail ballots, which typically lean Democratic, caused Nithya Raman to overtake Pratt for second place. Pratt has been eliminated from the runoff, which will feature incumbent Karen Bass against Raman.

• Slow Count: California’s extended tabulation period is due to state laws allowing mail ballots received up to seven days after the election (postmarked by Election Day), a standard process that often favors Democratic candidates.”

Ah, our old friend ‘baseless’! Hello Baseless, what have you been up to since 2020? Hey, have you lost weight, you sly dog?

it wasn’t ZERO. That would be silly. It was 21,000. That’s very convincing, isn’t it Baseless? Look into my eyes, don’t look around the eyes, look into the eyes, and three, two, one….

Well that’s me reassured.

Remember, when people let any arsehole vote with only a gym membership card as ID, it’s because they are conducting the most safe and secure elections ever. Even saferer and securerer than 2020.

Remember, all vote dumps in one unlikely direction “typically lean Democrat”. And that’s cool. That’s natural. That’s not in the least teensy weensy bit suspicious.

What’s that Spencer Platt? 43,000 vote sudden disparity and the homeless population is also 43,000? Hahahaha. Oh please, stop it, you sore loser.

But fortunately again it’s not just AI on the case. Mainstream media channels have been debunking as well. Furiously debunking. Debunking until the veins show.

Did you know that polling shows Bass SMASHING Platt in a run-off (+18 points) and only slightly beating Noodles in a run-off (+4 points) so it’s CRAY-ZEE to think that Democrats gain any kind of advantage by both candidates in the run off being near identical ethnic minority female Communist Democrats.

I mean the party as a whole never shafts any one of their own in primaries for any reason, do they? Just wouldn’t happen if doing it eliminated a genuine threat to one of their most corrupt citadels.

It all makes perfect sense without any of this conspiracy theory nonsense about electoral fraud.

The hated current Mayor that 66% of people in LA detest and 41% of people really, really detest (maybe they were the Pacific Palisades ones living in the fucking ash now) is, quite naturally and obviously, the leading contender with the most votes.

And the Crying Commie who wept in what looked very, very, very like a concession speech five seconds ago (hey, before those huge mail in ballot drops all came in massively for her…..) of course was weeping with happiness because all the indicators were suggesting that she’d suddenly light up like a fucking Roman Candle firework and go shooting into the sky.

And, again, completely naturally because these things “typically lean Democrat” (as long as you give it enough days, folks….) the candidate with independent fame who has conducted a fucking brilliant, energetic and superb campaign with some of the best political ads you’ve ever seen of course, of course, is the least popular with his popularity suddenly tailing away when the mail in ballots arrive.

You know, which is what happens. Democrats can’t walk, and Republicans can’t post. It’s just the way it is. It’s “a standard process that often favours Democrat candidates”.

Yeah, thanks AI, we KNOW.

Hey Baseless, come over here buddy. Gotta lotta work for you. You’re going to be running in and out of a lot of mouths. You’ll be in more mouths than a jizz cannon in a bukkake clip. You up for it, buddy?

That a boy. I knew you would be.